How understanding develops

• Up to 8 months: Although the connection between tone of voice and emotion is far in advance of an understanding of language, your infant may appear to have some linguistic understand a few weeks before he utters his first meaningful words.
   
• Around 8-9 months: Your child's ability to follow instructions starts around now; he may be able to do what you ask as long as it involves a simple physical hand movement that he can see and it requires him to intereact with you. For instance, he may try to hand you a toy he is holding if you ask him for it in a playful way while holding out your hand.
   
• Around 13-14 months: your toddler begins to understand basic instructions that are not tied to an object immediately in front of him. he knows, for instance, what you mean when you tell him "No, you can't have any more" - he probable tantrum that immediately follows is proof that he definitely knows what you mean.
   
• By 18 months: Your toddler is beginning to be able to follow a simple command that contains one piece of infomration such as "Please put the ball in the box."
   
• From 3 years: Your child should be able to process and complete more complex commands involving at least two pieces of infomration due to increases in his thinking skills and memory, for instance, "Please bring me the book and put the doll in your room"
   
• From 4 years: Your child starts to ask questions, though it's not until he is about fives years of age that he can think carefully about the questions he would like to ask.

Providing explanations

Most of the commands you give your child will be nonnegotiable, and you will expect him to carry them out. At times your child won't want to do what you ask, perhaps because he is busy with another activity or because he thinks your instructions are uninteresting or unimportant. That's why it helps to give him an explanation. Point out to your child that you want him to stop playing with the game because it's time to go shopping and you need him to get ready. When doing this before you don't end your explanation with a request or a question like "ok?", remember you are not giving an option your are instructing. Start giving this type of explanation from the toddler stage onward - he won't fully understand the reasons, but it will encourage him to think beyond his own immediate wishes. Explanations help your child realize why you are asking him to behave a particular way.

In addition, point out the emotional consequences of his following your instructions. For instance, you could tell him that you'll feel good if he puts his clothes back in the closet, or that his brother will be sad if he doesn't take care of his toys. Linking the instruction to an emotional outcome in this way makes you instruction more significant for your child and he is therefore more likely to respond positively to it.