Tonight I went out with the girls. I have done this many evenings before, but this was the first time I went out with the girls since I had my daughter. It was a foreign feeling. It was a great feeling. It was a scary weird feeling. I am told this is normal.
I started meeting these ladies about two years ago. The group was formed when a good friend of mine needed some socializing that didn't involve her husband or her little one. Of course, that's all we talked about, but that was our prerogative. We would meet up once a month or every other month at a quaint little dining spot and chat until the place was ready to close. It was/is a great evening. I was always on the non-baby side of the fence; there were only two of us without kids. Now only one is left, but she will be crossing over soon. This evening however was the first time I sat there joining the Mommy side. It was definitely a different feeling.
I left my little one at home with her father and suggested that they only call me if there was no other option. I felt harsh doing it, but I needed to not feel attached to a little creature for just a little time. I have to admit that even writing about feeling this way, I feel some guilt. No matter, I went out, the evening was lovely, and my mobile never rang once. I cannot say if I was disappointed (that the world can function without me) or relieved (that the world CAN function without me).
The point to all this rambling is if you can afford to go out once in a while to touch base with friends that you do not get a chance to see often. If you can join a group of people with whom you can chat with about all sorts of things; do it. It is a good way to disconnect and join the outside world.
I survived the night. My baby and partner survived the night. We are probably all stronger for it.